...moVing...

I will create another blog.

This other blog will be much more open for the public.

Just dunno when I will do it.

Got no time.

MeSs uP...

My life is a mess lately.
And I dunno who to trust anymore.
I hate my useless brother.
I hate his fucking girlfriend too.
She's a bitch.
Even if her intention is to help, dont blame me for hating & for for misunderstood you.
You're the one who's the 'good girl' rite?
Fine.
You will pay for this one day.

Its hard too make people understand what I'm feeling rite now.
Its not them who have a sick mother.
Its not them who's in my situation now.
Nobody will understand.
Being dead is better than facing all these bullshit.

Maybe I'm too stubborn to listen to advises.
But one thing you have to know about me.
If you mess up with me, I'll mess up with you in return.
Dont ever press my button.
Ever.

...HiDup mCm PeLaRiaN...

I've never expected this to happen.
Well, somehow you need to see it coming when you just hidup menumpang kat rumah orang kan.
Tuan rumah dah komplen.
"...bila nak cari rumah lain...???"
Adoi...tersiat jiwa ni bila dapat sms tu.
Macam tu rupanye apa yg ada dalam lubuk jiwa dia selama ni.

Patut la even the first time I went to that house when she's already in it, I can see it through her eyes.
Mata yg x ikhlas.
OMG...
Dia xkesian ke kt mak aku...
At least have a little empathy la towards her...
Bukannye my family dok saje jea nak menumpang kat rumah tu.
Dah cakap kan just sementara.
In the meantime ni mmg tengah cari rumah lain pun.
Cuma xjumpa jea lagi.
Sigh...

And the issues started with my sister.
Little things that even she can tegur if tak puas hati.
Just cakap la baik2 to my sis.
About the baju, kan senang kalau cakap aje.
Pinggan mangkuk tu, kalau nak suruh tolong basuh, just say it.
I dont think my sis pun x bodoh to makan pastu xbasuh pinggan.
She's big enough to think la.
All that the tuan rumah have to do is TEGUR, just simply TEGUR.
Its not that hard rite...

I am sooo kesian towards my bro...
Since only he & me that know about this issues.
I dont think its appropriate to tell my sis yet.
She dah cukup tebal muka dah to live there with strangers.
I really can understand, I really2 know that my bro is so much under pressure now.
What can we do bro...
There's no way out...
No way at all...

Sedara mara pun xboleh harap.
What the hell did they know about what we feel.
Bukan diorang yang ada mak yang sakit terlantar macam tu.
Bukan diorang yang duduk menumpang mintak belas kesian orang.
They wont know how we feels...
They wont...

Oh god...please...
Give me some strenght...

...i'Ve BeEn cHeaTeD...

Yup, yes I did.

Sigh...

I trust him too much.

Tapi sebenarnya dia dh ada gf rupenye.

Bodoh...

Hidup2 aku kene tipu.

Kalau bukan dek sebab kantoi dengan makwe dia, aku rase selagi tu dia xkan berhenti.

Nampaknya Allah makbulkan doa aku.

Sebab dia xsesuai dengan aku la, cepat jea Allah tunjukkkan.

Subhanallah...

How I hate him.

I've never been cheated like this.

Damn, it bruised my dignity man.

How I hate him...

I wish I can sepak his face you know.

Terajang him.

Tapi this shit tau pulak nak mintak maaf berkali2 dengan aku.

Sampai naik muak doh.

Sampai sakit hati aku ni balik sebab dh jemu dengar perkataan 'maaf' dia tuh.

Padan la muka.

Dh break up pun dgn makwe dia.

PADAN MUKA.

Dah la pakai temulawak kt muka tu.

Bodoh.

Kot yea pun pakai la yg berjenama sikit.

Alah, kau pakai ape pun tetap berkerak jugak muka tue.

Bodoh.

Bodoh, bodoh, bodoh.

I dont think I can ever forgive him.

I hate him.

He's just one more person who adds on my already many problems.

Shit...

To hell with you.

Just remember this phrase

"What comes around, goes around..."

...WaRniNg...

This BLOG is somehow my personal place to channel my angst, opinion, feelings and its all about ME.

So, if YOU, yes YOU my dear reader, TERASA with what I write...

That's your fucking problems.

Who ask you to mess up with me in the first place then.

So, just hurriedly LEAVE my blog and go somewhere else ASAP before you get a heart attack.

My BLOG, my WAY.

...aKu eMo...

I feel emo...

Heck...

I dont like it...

It makes me feel sooo miserable...



I feel sad bcoz of my mum...

My friends...

Myself...

My lonely heart... o.O

Shoot...



And sebab utama...

ASSIGNMENTS...!!!

Yg macam bagus jea...

Benci Mass Comm...

Benci sgt2...

Semua warganya aku benci...



Ish2...

Macam mana aku nak sambung degree ni...

Adoi la...

sTop & sTaRe ~oNe RePubLic~

This town is colder now
I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move,
I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be...oh...
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back
All my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags
I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be...oh...
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need
What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

** I like this song sooo much =) ** oNeRePubLic RocKs...!!!

tHanK yOu FoR maKinG mE fEeL HaPpy

Well...
I did feel happy these few days.
What the heck, after all these tiring & critical time, I think I deserve to feel a little bit of happiness eventhough the feeling might be 'fake'.
Fake or not, I just dont care.
Let me feel it while I can =)

To this person, thank you sooo much for being so kind to me.
For helping me & for not being such a SOMBONG asshole like everyone else did.
Ooopss...this entry is dedicated to you, excuse my words... =p
Hehe.

I hope that we can be friends forever, well whatever FOREVER means.
I just feel so downgraded all these while, somehow you did lifted my spirit for a while.
Too bad I need someone else to push myself up, but hey...everyone needs a motivator isn't it?
Thank you, thank you, thank you...

Good luck & all d best to you.
I know you've been busy nowadays.
You will until at least next sem I guess.
Whatever it is, I know that you can pull it off *wink*

And I will belanja u makan also.
Yeah, lets set up a date sometime later, okay?

*smile*

...tHanX 2 mY dEaRy FrEnS...

Farid & Ude,
Thanx 4 being genuinely concern about my situation now.
I truly can feel that you guys really care about me.
Unlike some of my so called "friends" that are sooo selfish...
Sigh...

I'm just sooo totally sick of being the one who thinks that my friends still thinks of me, despite they never really make efforts to ask how am I doing SINCERELY.
Not mcm terpaksa & mcm kesian la konon.
Maybe I can understand that some of them are busy (konon), but I just hate their excuses, excuses, excuses.
That's all I got all the time. EXCUSES.
Betul la orang cakap, masa kita susah la baru kita tau siapa kawan kita yg sebenar.

Now I just want to focus on my mum & I just totally dont care about anything else.
Its just my mum, my family & my REAL friends now. Period.

pLeaSe waKe uP...

...at Hosp. Serdang ward...

...at Pantai ICU...

Its been 27 days...

Please wake up mum...

Its not fair for us, its not fair for you either...

There's too much things going in my mind now...

I take things for granted...

Now its been taken away from me...

I just want you to be healthy as before...

Just wake up mum...

There's too many things that I didnt have a chance to do for you yet...

Let me pay back all the things you have done for me, for our family...

I just need you to wake up...

~ Ya ALLAH Ya Tuhan ku, kau dengarilah doa hamba Mu ini...Amin... ~